***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
