The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You're like the curious george of whores
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
