ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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