What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
