Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
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Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This is my gift to your gina
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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