OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
