Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
