she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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