I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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