what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
