i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
