So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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