I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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