What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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