HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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