If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Slut skills are useful in every country.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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