cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
