and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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