Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
