Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
