ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
