also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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