while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
