Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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