We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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