ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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