Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
