Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
