I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
