I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
