I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
