I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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