the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
