I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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