Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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