flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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