Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
