His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
