Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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