Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
