Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
