I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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