I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
