Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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