I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
