Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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