my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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