Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
