she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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