If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
only you would photoshop your dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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