we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
