I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
