Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
