I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want to be your penis for a week.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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