Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
