Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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